


Way Too Adult

by ThatRandomFail



Series: Sanders Sides Retold [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Caring Morality | Patton Sanders, Cooking, Cooking Lessons, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28408293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatRandomFail/pseuds/ThatRandomFail
Summary: Thomas is having... another crisis. Oh, this is going to become a pattern isn’t it? Thankfully, Patton finds him and helps to ease him into the world of... adultery... I mean, adulthood.This is Sanders Sides retold as a university au! You don't need to read part 1 to read this one as they are just based on the episodes!
Relationships: Morality | Patton Sanders & Thomas Sanders, Thomas Sanders & The Sides
Series: Sanders Sides Retold [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054781
Kudos: 3





	Way Too Adult

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! This is basically what it says on the tin, it's Sanders Sides retold as a bunch of university students struggling with every day life. However, I am indeed British and know nothing about the American education system so I'm just going to write about what I know.
> 
> This is part of a series but because it's based on the episodes, you can read this in any order. You don't need to read part 1 or anything! 
> 
> Comments would be greatly appreciated!

He was putting it off. He knew very well that he was putting it off. But then again he was really good at putting things off. Hell this was the most time ever he had spent on his lectures. His notes were less scrawled than usual and actually highlighted facts and key methods. Who knew spending more time studying could result in better notes... Sighing very loudly with his eyes screwed shut, he got up from the chair and slumped over to the kitchen. No use putting it off any more.

Patton was sitting there already while scrolling through his phone with a bored expression and perked up at him. Thomas froze. Patton smiled awkwardly before his brow naturally quirked up.

“Hi Thom-”

“Yes I have worn this shirt for the entire week! Let’s move on!” 

Thomas blushed violently and threw himself into his cupboard. He stared deeply into the cupboard. Yep, nothing had changed. But also he didn’t really need to go shopping. It was fairly full but yet it always like he was missing a part for every dinner. He had pasta but no sauces. He had a jar of curry sauce with no rice. Curry pasta? Maybe that was a meal? He had tins of tuna but no mayonnaise or really anything else. There was a weird stain that his eyes kept flicking to. It was a splatter of green. 

“...and then the house caught on fire and everyone exploded. It was really intense.”

“Wha?” Thomas gawked.

“It’s okay Thomas,” Patton giggled it off, “You alright? You’re usually not this distracted.”

“Yeah, sorry. As per usual, I think I’ve accidentally agreed to do something that I absolutely can’t do.”

“The YouTube thing again?” 

“Hah, not this time,” Thomas frowned and opened his cupboards again. Yep, nothing has changed. Yet his eyes searched as if he was seeing again for the first time ever. 

“Okay, promise not to judge,” Thomas joked but Patton nodded like he was being trusted with the secrets of the universe, “You know I’m going home for the weekend? Well... I shall be the only one of the four brothers there. So naturally, my dad has asked me to help cook a dinner. He thinks university has actually turned me into a responsible adult or something! Here’s the thing though... I still don’t really know how to cook.” 

“Okay,” Patton cracked his knuckles menacingly, “I’ve had enough of this! Do you know how often you say you can’t cook? Lot’s of times! Do you know how often you try to learn how to cook? Zero times.”

Patton gently bumped into him so he could peer into his cupboard himself. He must’ve felt the same though as he tutted and started shuffling through the disorganised stacked cupboard. “Not true! There was that one time a few months ago when... you’re right. It’s already a bad sign that I have to go back that far,” Thomas mumbled.

“Thomas you live off microwavable meals and takeout. It can’t be good for you! I’m sure Logan would be able to lecture you on exactly how bad it is. But I’ll save you the time! C’mon I can help you,” Patton smiled as he finally untucked from the cupboard. Dumping some different ingredients on the work surface, he winked before plucking Thomas’ open bag of pasta. 

“No wonder you’re the dad friend,” Thomas quietly laughed before standing lamely in front of the pile. 

“Well, just think of me as your sense of morality really firing back at you with a vengeance today!”

Patton stood with his hands on his hips with a bright smile while Thomas rocked back in his heels. There was a bag of open flour, milk, butter and pasta. “Right, do you know what a roux sauce is?” 

“Noooooo,” Thomas finally wailed and flopped on to the counter. Patton laughed before trying to pull him back up, “This is not my day today...” 

“It’ll be okay! It’s the easiest thing ever! It’s just a really simple pasta sauce that you can then add stuff to if you’re feeling _saucy_!” Patton winked again while Thomas tried to hide his smile, “Cheese is an obvious choice but you could add garlic and onion and all sorts. I know pasta in a sauce doesn’t sound very fancy but trust me. People think you’re some incredible amazing chef if you make you’re own pasta sauce. Even if it’s only three ingredients!”

Thomas simply smiled in response and pulled himself up dramatically. He pulled out his kinda dodgy scales and turned to Patton with an expectant glance. Patton turned on the hob before relaying “It’s really simple. 50g of butter and 50g of flour. Then 500ml of milk! All 5s!” 

“How do you even remember that? Do you just know recipes off the top of your head?” Thomas gasped, stars shining in his eyes.

“Well, I’m not lying Thomas. It really is simple. Once you do it... even twice then you just remember it off the top of your head.” 

They settled into measuring the ingredients with Patton occasionally perking up as he gave feedback. “Now we’re going to gently boil the milk. Gently, so at a low heat. At this point you could add all those fancy ingredients like garlic or onions in the milk but we’re keeping things easy! See, we’re just a couple of adults mak-”

“AAH!”

“What!” Patton suddenly lurched forward. Thinking Thomas had somehow managed to burn himself by just pouring the milk in the pan. 

“Why you got to say that!” Thomas joked but his heart had sped up. He wasn’t an adult. He couldn’t be an adult. 

“What? Adult?” 

“Ah, yes! That’s the scary word!” 

“No it’s not! We’re both adults here! I mean you’ve moved out of your parents and going further into your education. You can probably do more adult stuff than you realise. Like... can you change the oil in your car?”

Thomas almost looked hopeful for a second but deflated at that, “No.”

“Can you pay your rent on your own?”

“Oh no! I still phone up my dad!”

“Well how about removing bugs from your bedroom?” Patton asked as he peered into the pan to check the milk but he looked up once Thomas didn’t respond. Thomas was standing there, arms folded, with a sarcastic look, “Yeah that’s a no...”

“Oh what am I going to do!” Thomas cried out and flopped on to the worksurface again, making sure he didn’t knock anything over. 

“Well it’s all in baby steps, like everything you’ve learned in life!” Patton smiled and knocked his shoulder again. 

Once the milk was boiling, they then realised that they hadn’t even started cooking the pasta (and after Thomas threw out another dramatic wail) they started another pot. They fell into a peaceful silence. Thomas added the rest of the ingredients slowly, as per Patton’s instructions, and he began to loosen up. This was easy. Three ingredients for a nice tasting sauce. He wasn’t entirely sure whether pasta in a sauce was good enough for his parents but he also knew that if he saw Patton making his own sauce then he’d be absolutely blown away. Maybe it was about time that he finally started to take an interest in cooking. He couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times he saw Logan cooking lasagne or some casserole and felt immediately jealous as he ate his lukewarm microwavable meat dinner. He chuckled without thinking, causing Patton to smile at him. “I treat the stove in the kitchen like a friend that I’ve been neglecting.”

“Nah, you’re okay!”

“Hey stove! Uh hi! Um... yeah I’m doing alright... Yeah. Yeah still not planning to cook. Anyway bye stove!” Thomas joked along and acted along with the oven that was humming loudly. Patton chuckled at him but he also couldn’t help but think that it rang a little bit true. 

“C’mon Thomas! You didn’t always know to do adultery things, and they came about because you took the time to learn. You can learn from your parents and the internet and I’m always here to help anyway I can. All of us are!” Patton smiled widely while he drained the cooked pasta. 

“Yeah I guess, adul- wait what?” 

“Yeah adultery. It’s not as hard as you think!” 

“Wait that’s not a thing!” 

“Really? I thought that was a thing?” Patton frowned, but his mind came up completely empty. Adultery was the word! Right? It had adult in the name. 

“Oh it’s a thing but not that thing!”

“Oh I’m too dyslexic to be a teacher, cooking or otherwise” Patton laughed it off.

“I think the word you’re looking for is adulthood,” Thomas corrected and Patton nodded before making him mix in the sauce. 

It was a weird moment serving up the pasta. It felt like it should be a really boring plain dish but, still, Thomas felt his chest swelling with pride. It was just boring pasta in a white sauce with some maybe stale cheese on top. The plate was chipped already. It should be boring. But both of them took a bite and immediately started squealing over how well it turned out. Surely that was good enough for his parents! “Aww let yourself celebrate a little Thomas! You did it!” Patton cheered while spinning around in a little jig. 

“It was only three ingredients and you just mix them all at once. It’s not anything...” He paused once he was hit with the full power of Patton’s menacing dad glare, “But it is pretty good.”

And that was good enough for now. 


End file.
